Who we are

“Former Olympian” is up there as one of my top 2 least favourite labels. Ok, it’s number one. First up, it is factually incorrect, once an Olympian always an Olympian. Secondly, it suggests that the qualities that made me (and others) an Olympian, no longer exist. Qualities that stretch far beyond running 100m quickly enough to represent Team GB.

I wear an Olympic rings necklace, not to show off, but as a symbol of what it took for me to get there. It reminds me of who I am.*

During this lockdown period, I have been trying to go for a long walk every day. Listening to podcasts as I power walk round my local park. One podcast I came across last week which really resonated with me, was with Simon Sinek. I have read his book “Start with Why” so was already a fan.

Sinek spoke about how we define ourselves and infinite v’s finite games. He said too many people tie their identities to what they do (our jobs) rather than who we are. What happens to the Olympic athlete or the CEO when they retire?

That depends on how they define themselves.

What must come first is who we are; our purpose, belief, cause, the values you have in your life.

Second to that is how do I advance who I am?

This is achieved through our how (our strengths) via our what (our jobs).

He spoke of an Olympic athlete who never medaled at the Games: They finished 13th but did so with a smile on their face. They showed up not to win, but for the joy of the sport. Now, I am not suggesting for a second that we all give ourselves a pat on the back for “just being there” - but it does help us with this definition of who we are.

My own performance at the Games was devastating at the time - having spent all my energy just qualifying. Looking back, some 12 years later, I grow more and more proud of my achievement: It is not my performance at the Games that defines me.

The concept of infinite v’s finite games ties in nicely here: A finite games’ objective is to beat others.

There are known players, fixed rules and an agreed objective (to win.)

There is a beginning, middle and end.

Players in finite games will have a drive to win, exert control and do not like surprises.

On the other hand, we have infinite games; where the goal is to out-do ourselves. 

There are known and unknown players, the rules are changeable and the objective is to keep playing.

This describes every day of our lives.

An infinite game provides context for finite games: Players in an infinite game embrace uncertainty and find opportunity in that uncertainty.

If you show up in an infinite game with a finite mindset, prepare for disappointment.

In the early days following my Olympic performance, I had fallen foul of playing a finite game: I had not won.

To many, this may have been seen as a failure. I saw it is as a failure.

Now, I see that the infinite game goes on.

*P.S I also wear an Olympic rings necklace because it seems like a less painful option to a tattoo.

If you want to listen to the podcast yourself, it can be found here